Letting go means releasing negative emotions or attachments that hold you back. It's about stopping thinking about or being angry about the past or something that happened in the past. You are releasing someone or something that is no longer serving you in a positive way.
I have personally struggled to grasp the true meaning of “letting go,” so I want this article to be simple and provide a clear picture from its definition to its application.
What is Letting Go?
Letting go involves consciously releasing attachments to people, events, or outcomes that no longer serve your well-being. It’s an act of emotional freedom, where you choose to no longer let past experiences or fears dictate your present and future.
This process is rooted in acceptance and forgiveness, where you acknowledge that holding onto anger, regret, or disappointment only harms you. By letting go, you allow yourself to heal, grow, and embrace new opportunities with a clear and open heart.
👉 To have a deeper understanding of forgiveness, please refer to my other article: Forgiving Someone You Love: Steps to True Forgiveness & Letting Go
What is the difference between Forgiveness and Letting Go?
What a great question! Forgiveness and letting go are interconnected, but they are not the same! Is that helping so far? 🤭
Forgiveness extends beyond personal liberation; it is an intentional act directed outward.
Forgiveness often includes letting go as it involves releasing resentment towards those who have caused harm.
It involves recognizing the hurt, empathizing, deciding to forgive, and letting go of the desire for retribution. It is unconditional, permanent and motivated by love.
On the other hand, letting go is a simpler and broader concept. We work on ourselves by releasing negative emotions, thoughts and experiences that hold us back.
Letting go MAY include forgiving but most generally we do not get involved with other people. Also letting go, involves accepting things you cannot change, shifting your focus to the present, and freeing yourself from any emotional burdens.
In summary:
Forgiveness includes letting go: To forgive someone, you need to let go of the negative emotions and resentment towards them.
Letting go may include forgiving: Letting go can involve forgiving others, but it also includes releasing other types of emotional burdens that may not necessarily involve forgiveness.
Why Letting Go is So Important?
Holding on to past hurts and disappointments can weigh you down and prevent you from enjoying what is available to you in the present moment. It can create a cycle of negativity that affects your mental and physical health. Letting go helps break this cycle, offering a path to peace and happiness. It’s about choosing to live in the present rather than being stuck in the past.
Examples of Letting Go
Consider a person who has been passed over for a promotion. Holding onto resentment and bitterness can lead to ongoing stress and unhappiness. Letting go involves accepting the decision, understanding it’s not a reflection of your worth, and focusing on new opportunities for career growth.
Another example could be letting go of perfectionism. If you’re always striving for perfection, you might never feel satisfied. Letting go means accepting that it’s okay to make mistakes and that imperfections are part of the human experience.
How to Practice Letting Go?
Practical steps for immediate release
Before we cover all the ins & outs of letting go, I wanted to propose a practical and useful emergency technique.
I was often told: “just let it go for now” in my moment of distress but didn’t know how to take it from there.
Whether it is a bad news drop, an unreasonable request made to you or simply a grudge that causes you stress, here are 4 immediate actions you can take in the moment:
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Pause and Breathe
A very effective release is to take a deep breath in through your nose, hold it for a few seconds, and then slowly exhale through your mouth. Repeat this a few times to help calm your mind and body.
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Ensure your Safety and Feel the Emotion
Ensure you are in a safe place and allow a moment to really embody the emotion that is passing by. The key here is to not get in your head, just feel. Feel where it is in your body, whatever it is. Recognize that it is here without judging it and allow it to dispel.
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Use a Mantra
Choose a simple, calming phrase such as "I am good", “I feel good”, "I am peace,".
Silently repeating this mantra to yourself a few times can help you in settling your emotions.
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Engage Positivity
Shift your focus to a different activity for a few minutes. This could be taking a short walk, listening to your favorite song, or looking at something in your environment that brings you joy. This helps break the cycle of rumination and allows you to let go more easily.
By following these practical steps, you can start to let go of immediate stressors and negative emotions in the moment.
Practical Techniques for Letting Go
When learning to let go is part of your regular practice, there are a few ways you can approach it to let go of the bother of everyday life.
Below are 4 practice you can implement as part of your daily routine:
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Mindfulness Meditation
Practicing mindfulness helps you stay present and reduces the tendency to dwell on past hurts. It encourages you to focus on the here and now, allowing you to let go of the past and reduce anxiety about the future.
👉 For more practical information on Mindfulness Meditation, you can listen to my previous interview with Mindfulness Coach Julie Burch: Part 1 & Part 2.
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Journaling
Writing about your feelings can help you process and release them. It provides a safe space to explore your emotions and gain clarity on what you need to let go of.
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Gratitude Practices
Regularly reflecting on what you are grateful for can shift your mindset from one of lack to one of abundance. Gratitude helps you focus on the positive aspects of your life, making it easier to let go of what no longer serves you.
👉 Writing 3 things you are grateful for every morning in your journal is a great way to set the mood for the day.
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Visualization
Imagine yourself cutting ties with whatever holds you back, creating a mental image of freedom and peace. With practice, this mental image can become an experienced feeling ahead of the event, just like it has already happened.
This technique can be particularly effective in helping you emotionally detach from negative influences.
Embracing the Journey of Letting Go
Letting go is a profound and liberating process that involves releasing negative emotions, forgiving past hurts, and embracing the present moment. It’s a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, allowing you to live a more peaceful and fulfilling life. By practicing acceptance, forgiveness, and mindfulness, you can truly let go and open the door to new possibilities and a brighter future. Let’s explore the emotional, physical and spiritual benefits of letting go.
The Emotional Benefits of Letting Go
When you let go, you free yourself from the emotional chains that have been holding you back. This liberation can lead to a range of emotional benefits, including:
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Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Letting go of past grievances and worries can significantly reduce your stress levels and anxiety. You are no longer carrying the weight of the past, which allows you to live more peacefully in the present.
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Improved Relationships: By letting go of past hurts and resentments, you can improve your relationships. Holding onto grudges can create barriers between you and others, but letting go allows you to rebuild trust and intimacy.
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Enhanced Self-Esteem: Letting go helps you build a healthier self-esteem. When you release negative self-perceptions and past failures, you can start to see yourself in a more positive light.
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Greater Emotional Resilience: Letting go builds emotional resilience. You learn that you can move on from difficult experiences, which makes you better equipped to handle future challenges.
The Physical Benefits of Letting Go
The act of letting go doesn’t just impact your emotional well-being; it also has tangible physical benefits. Here are some ways letting go can positively affect your physical health:
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Lower Blood Pressure: Stress and anxiety can lead to high blood pressure, but by letting go of these negative emotions, you can help lower your blood pressure and improve your cardiovascular health.
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Better Sleep: Letting go of worries and negative thoughts can improve the quality of your sleep. Without these disturbances, you can enjoy deeper and more restful sleep.
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Improved Immune Function: Chronic stress can weaken your immune system, making you more susceptible to illness. Letting go of stressors can help strengthen your immune system, keeping you healthier.
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Increased Energy Levels: Holding onto emotional baggage can be draining. By letting go, you free up energy that can be redirected towards positive activities and pursuits.
Spiritual Aspects of Letting Go
For many, letting go is also a spiritual journey. It involves connecting with a higher power or your inner self to find peace and acceptance. Here are some spiritual practices that can aid in letting go:
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Prayer: Many people find comfort in prayer, which can help you release your worries and place your trust in a higher power.
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Meditation: Meditation helps you connect with your inner self and find a sense of calm and clarity. It’s a powerful tool for letting go of negative thoughts and emotions.
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Affirmations: Positive affirmations can help reprogram your mind to focus on the present and let go of the past. Repeating affirmations such as “I release what no longer serves me” can be very effective.
- Rituals: Spiritual rituals, such as lighting a candle or writing a letter and then burning it, can symbolize the act of letting go. These physical acts can help reinforce your intention to release the past.
Very important: The Difference Between Letting Go and Giving Up
A common misconception is that letting go means giving up. This isn’t true.
Letting go is not about surrendering or admitting defeat; it’s about recognizing that certain aspects of life are beyond your control. It’s an empowering act of self-care and emotional intelligence.
By letting go, you’re not giving up; you’re choosing to move forward with your life without the burden of past traumas or disappointments.
Steps to Letting Go
Letting go can be challenging, but understanding the steps involved can make the process more manageable. Here are some clear steps to help you on this journey:
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Acknowledge Your Feelings: Recognize and identify the emotions you’re holding onto. This awareness is the first crucial step to releasing them.
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Identify What You Need to Let Go Of: Make a specific and honest list of the things, people, or events you need to let go of.
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Reflect on Why You’re Holding On: Understand the reasons behind your attachment. Is it fear, guilt, or a sense of obligation? Addressing these root causes can help you move forward.
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Accept What Happened: Understand that the past cannot be changed. Acceptance is a crucial part of the letting go process, allowing you to come to terms with reality.
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Set Your Intention: Clearly set your intention to let go. Write it down and revisit it regularly to keep yourself on track and committed to the process.
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Focus on the Present: Engage in mindfulness practices such as meditation or yoga to ground yourself in the present moment. Cultivate gratitude by shifting your focus from what’s lost to what you still have.
- Be kind to yourself throughout this process. Letting go is not easy, and it’s important to acknowledge your efforts and progress. Self-compassion helps you stay motivated and gentle with yourself.
If you feel like you need to, you can reach out to a trusted friend or therapist that can provide new insights, new perspectives and emotional relief. Professional help can offer guidance and support if you’re struggling to let go on your own.
By following these steps and being patient with yourself, you can gradually let go of what holds you back and move towards a more peaceful and fulfilling life.
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Letting go is a profound and liberating process that involves releasing negative emotions, forgiving past hurts, and embracing the present moment. It’s a journey of self-discovery and personal growth, allowing you to live a more peaceful and fulfilling life. By practicing acceptance, forgiveness, and mindfulness, you can truly let go and open the door to new possibilities and a brighter future.
Remember, letting go doesn’t mean forgetting or giving up. It’s about empowering yourself to move forward without the burden of past traumas or disappointments. Embracing the journey of letting go can lead to profound personal growth, emotional freedom, and a more fulfilling life. As you practice these techniques and integrate them into your daily life, you’ll find that letting go becomes a natural and empowering part of your personal development.